I faked an abortion last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
