god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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