normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry about my life...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
