It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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