seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
