You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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