Whod you bang
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
even my farts smell like vagina
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
