cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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