I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
