I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize