I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
