one two three fourrrrnication!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you had me at cake vodka
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
