i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish you could order shots online.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
