You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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