Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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