her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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