If that was your dad, he is hot
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
