I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize