I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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