paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have demons in me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
God, I missed his penis.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize