I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
