I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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