you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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