he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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