i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
