That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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