I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
