just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
