I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
