I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Green mimosas i think yes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
