i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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