I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
