Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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