Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
