i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
