Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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