I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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