In the future we'll all be gay
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Redeem this text for a blowjob
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
