eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
