I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
