I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
