Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
