Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize