So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
