In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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