When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
