Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
