You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just had sex on a roof
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
