dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
