Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just pee around me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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