I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
