You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
