They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
