yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
did i walk over a car last night?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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