So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
