New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
