marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
