Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
