please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
