jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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