Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My balls are so social today.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
