This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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