I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize