I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
