Barsexuality is the new black.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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