After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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