this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My pussy is not your playground.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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