Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
