when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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