I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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