he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
