apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
