didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need a beard to bite.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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