I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
