If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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