Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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